Tuesday 31 March 2009

FUCKING USE ME.

ADDRESSING EVERYONE: FUCKING USE ME.. EVERYONE ELSE DOES. FUCK SAKE. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.. SO YOU MAKE OUT WITH ME AND THEN CAL ME THE DESPERATE FUCKING SKET. FUCK YOU. BECAUSE WHO WILL BE THE ONE HERE WHEN IM DRIPPING WITH BLOOD? ABSOLOUTLEY NO ONE. BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE ONLY THING IM DESPERATE FOR? TO BE LOVED. THAT WAS ALL I EVER WANTED. I JUST CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.EFFY STONEM<3 HERE I COME.. SHE'S OFF THE RAILS, ATLEAST EVERYTHING TURNED OUT OKAY FOR HER.. IN THE END.. BUT WHERE EXACTLY IS THE END?
DEATH? I HOPE SO.
X.X.X

Monday 30 March 2009

Lily<3

so it goes like this, every other fucker on here seems to write bad shit..and so do i most the time. but stop it your fucking up friendships.. but ive become obsessed with Lily Allen so heres a picture because i adore her, she's special, and has a third nipppple. shhhh ;) x

so, turns out im not the only fuck up.[:
Saturday night- too much to drink dancing to Lily Allen..
obessesed? yes. :'] but along with Lily...
i <3 Hattie, Becca, Kirstine, Daisy, Kelly, Matt, Jack, Benp, Jess, turns out here was more before but i fucked it up. not on there tough.. its my blog. :]

respect?

lets start on a bad note.. i just mullered my finger.
ever thought about exactly why you were ever put on this earth, there must be a reason. why would people have a lifetime of nothing and then die. So, ive been thinking maybe im just here to fuck up. Or have you ever just thought to yourself, sorry where's my respect? you could pour your heart and soul out on someone and get absoloutley nothing back, but why? i get the fact that everyone's not the same. but there's morals in life. you can't just fuck around doing what the fuck you want all of your life,, can you? because im sorry but I'm not that kind of person. Few years ago i knew exactly who i was, and now.. well idk. But no one wants to hear my problems.The only reason im writing this is to get everything off my chest and pretend that somebody who care's might read it. but here goes im gonna complain and if you dont like it, dont keep reading simple.[:
i can only think of one relationship where i've ever felt respected and that was with the person I'm still in love with :[ but i might have fucked that one up too, by making out with him. ive been used and abused SO much.. and i know if this relationship does'nt happen soon, i'll be off the rails in no time. ....once again. urgh, I just want him to love me. like before <3
i got thrown away today, well that's what it feels like, turns our he's got a habbit of using & abusing.. for money.. for hatred. idk. So, he doesn't care? well take this because your making me dont wanna give a shit about you anymore your worse than dani at pushing people away, and your taking your addiction way too far. get help. but guess what? exactly who care's about your problems? but just remember, you dont know everything.

might write more later, fuck knows. sorry about that moan, anyone who cares.
x x x x x x x x x x x x

Friday 27 March 2009

Sorry,

im sorry. yes i know im negative.. i kinda cant help it alot of the time.. im depressed. i try to have happy thoughts but i feel so alone. and your life is worse and so are your problems i get upset over petty things but i want to change a bit moree. i want to stop fucking up & fucking people over.. you said you waned to show me how much you care.. and you said you wouldve hit him for me.. that meant alot in its own special way cuz i think there was some people just sitting back and watching.. I thought that's what you were doing.. i never realised you didnt know. urgh im sorry its been a shit night. i want jack. :( and i think he's gonna say noo. :/ thankyou so much for everything you did today. that was dedicated to you. Sorry ilumore.x

ilu.

ilovejack.
i had to get it off my chest.
and he's the only person i want right now.
i wanna cry in his arms and know i'm safe and loved. :(x

Don't be.

look.. dont be sorry.
i take it because your the only one that say's it to my face and i deserve it. i used you. i deserve it, i should be saying sorry. I hate it who wouldnt but i take it cuz i deserve.
SORRY.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

#-my dad is playing ghost busters really loudly. thought you might wanna know.x

yhhhh.

today fucked up.. trying to get my head around who i actually LOVE and realising just how much certain people mean to me... i love Jack. Jamie only loved my body.. not me. The amount that i did today for one best friend.. held her when she was crying and told her everything was gonna be okay just as they fucked up even more.. and crying so many ears and putting on a brave face to hide he pain. Trying to ignore the urges block out the voice but i cant do that forever.. I dont know if i want to sort out other peoples problems anymore because im just running away from my own.. The whole time ive been looking after my best friend ive had one of my closes and most amazing friends looking after me.. i dont know why he bothers with a fuck up anymore.
because i think im beginning to believe wha he says about me being a dirty sket.. its just another thing im yet again running away from. i hate having a reputation and i hae what my past consists of, because i would change i if i could.. I wouldnt give up on the one i loved even hough he diched me i wouldve kept hold of him.. and i wouldve cared..
kaay im babbling. and boring myself bu this has helped.
ADAM&BECCA,ILY.X