fuck load of shit, you might wanna read babes.>.<

i think it's amazing how quickly people can shut you out of thier lives.
im actually quite busy on runescape but felt the need to blog.. for some reason..
mhhhhm, meeting & dentist tommorow.. the virgin mary is no longerr ;) x
went to see millie bubbz last night, doing her first official shift..
so proudd [: and mightve got myself a job from being confident,
and im just really excited about life now..
and the fact that whenever something comes to mind that 'he's' said to me in the past that has hurt or upset me, i tell my mum, ahaha. however pethetic that sounds i think she can finally understand how much it all hurt me, and why i was like i was... but getting it all off my chest to her is really helping, because we can fight our case tommorow, and although i think deep down we know nothing will be achieved maybe it will, stopping him from having the chance to say those things means he cant unless he's behind the screen so maybe that's what they'll do, i wouldn't mind, it'd be about 10% revenge for the pain because he doesn't treat anyone else like it, and like mum said you blates have issues. you need to sort yourself out, else your gonna find yourself battered, promiseeee. [:

oh Jakey Babess, ilu. lol at last nights phone call, from Cornwall, about the nurse ahahah. [: how many?!?! 40?! aahhahaa.
ohh yhh and he's saving up for you. lmao.

but anyway, runescape is so much fun and i really dont mind going in tommorow, because ive still got ages to enjoy myself now.. and await a phone call from jules.
i miss Millie, and what we used to have.. i really do.


RUNESCAPEEE.
`GEOG PROJECT ALMOST FINISHEDD. FINALLY.
I WILL GET A BETTER LEVEL THAN YOU. PROMISEE.

and i think a death of her hamster & her mum back in hospital was due to the argument.

oh! and you know full well you will never get back at me through her..
so don't try it. and stop using square bollocks as an excuse. it's shit.



>.< yeh byes.





























































































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play the fucking game.

PRIDE.

I get so proud over petty things, but i get so upset over petty things.
but when i get that smear of pride the same people, PERSON wipes it away.
and petty things like that make me upset. >.<

had to get that off my chest.

fuck this.

dont use blogspot anymore not to write blogs or look at anyone elses it hurts too much. myspace blogs ftw <3 i guess. im a fuck up, it's all mistakes with me, yes? i hate you..<3x

MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE MYSPACE

i..

i dont know what to blog really atm.
maybe that i want to speaak to Adamm..
and i really wanna sort things out..
and maybe 2 weeks apart could be good for us both.
but urgh,, i wouldnt last that long.x

also,i want to know if he still writes about me in his blogs.. and if he doesnt i guess that's good means he really does hate me.. but if he still writees about me..why? prolly just to bitch about me but if he hated me that much wouldnt he just let the fuck go? i dont know.. but still i wont let myself on his blog.. half because he told me not to, and half cuz im scared to read stuff that someone who was once so close to me could ever write about me.. or maybe there's nothing and he's just getting on with his life..? urghh. i dont know.x

:O :O :O :O

kay like 2 blogs in about 3 minutes. urm yes.
because people get the wrong end of the stick and when i talk about having an amazing relationship with someone thay assume im talking about going back to my old ways and call me a slaggg. pffft. it just happens to be the day he splits up with his girlfriend that i say i wanna sort this out once & for all and be friends like we used to WITHOUT THE FINGERRS. So yeh urm. YOU KNOW THIS IS JUST O GET IT OFF MY CHEST BECAUSE MAYBE INSTEAD I WOULD BE THE ONE CUTTING MYSELF :P BECAUSE SUNSHINE WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I BLED OVER A CLASSROOM FLOOR? YOU'D JUST LET ME.. :) SO THANKSS. URM. YEHHHHHHH. SLAG. :) IM TALKING TO MYSELF I HOPE NO WANKER READS THIS HOW COOL AM I? EFFYEFFYEFFYEFFYEFFYEFFYEFFYLILY<3 SO YEH. I WANNA GO BACK TO LIKE 2PM TODAY. HAPPIEST EVER. I THINK I HATEEE YYYOU, IF YOU READ THIS I WILL SHOOOT YOU. IM WAITING FOR YOUR SHOT. I THINK I WOULD RATHER BE UNTRUST WORTH AND SEE WHAT YOU REALLY THINK THAN BE TRUST WORTH AND LET YOU BITCH ABOUT ME ONLINEEEEE. SO YEH THANKYOU WANKER ILUSFM. :P LET'S FUCK NOW YOUR SINGLE.X


UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPDATE:
SO apprently im a slug who doesnt give a fuck about love or some shitt. that's why i did so much for the person i did love.. and then i got used. again [: so right i asked adam to tell me what he really thinks of me cant wait to hear what he says. im SO exciteddd. btw i've got an answer for EVERYTHINGGGGG.
Adamm -!Love grows in ohio nowhere.. says: oh and my answers on the ends...
*you think people use people ---they do. lots.
*and some do--well done.
*but you use them--no i dont.
*you just want a finger or two-- no i dont
*you dont care about love--i get confused i think i love people..
*you dont know what love is-- i loved jack, and did, til he used me like the rest :)
*you're jsut ignorant-- sorry what exactly does that mean.. hattie dont tell me [:
*you just want some-- no i dont, i'd rather be loved and not get some tbf..
*you skyve of school to avoid your problems, which is pathetic -- once in 4 weeeks.. yhhh. im cool. i had alot to think abouttt. and it sorted alot out. but he fucked my head up again like alway.
*and you talk about people behind there backs because you're too scared to say it to there faces-- ive said alot of things to peoples faces. people are really scared of youu though. :)
*done, sorry -- your not sorry. you loved that..

so yeh. im done over. i really wished someone would read thiss. you knoww?x

Woooooods.x

Well, today has been pretty good on the whole. so right, satyed off schoool, and went on a bike ride to the woods. found a little bench nexxt to a stream, and yes im boring and the smalesst things can please me. not sexually. well maybe. shuttttttttttup. anwyay. so yeh. urm.. i took pictures.. :)

so yeh, and i think me & Adam are good now, i hope its once and for all this time thoughh,

like a new start? i doubt it will happen, but I'm having

hopes, cuz let's face it where's the harm in that?
He doesn't trust me anymore, and i wish i could get that trust back, but that could take a while.. and it will need proving, and i think i can do that.. :) so it's allll goood.
hope i can be as happy tommorow.x

So, April Fool's day..

i wish some fucker and turned around and told me thewhole of yesterday was a joke.. because i fucked up... i drove myself mental for about 4 hours.. and i played a game.. i dont know what game.. and didn't like it one bit.. im fucking myself & him up. i can't remember much about yesterday, and i dont remember why exactly i didnt write a blog yesterday.. and i cant be fucked to write this really because it'll just get me down i guess. i just want to say im SORRY. i say this alot, and its amazing how much just a few words can mean to people.. i completely lost it with you.. the way you've been treated me it allcame flooding back and i wanted to show you how upset it really makes you.. but after i did that to you the words i said to you went round & round my head. when i went to cunnington i just.. well, i just i couldnt let it out i just broke down... i was like it was on the floor and starting shaking. because the pictures from that night came backk. Honestly, what am i meant to do when you do this? i know you love it. i know you cant help it.. but when it get's like that... i really dont have a clue what to do. i really want to be here for you as much as i an and try to do the 'right' thing for you but i dont know what that is anymore... you know i said i cant be fucked to write this anymore? well i really cant. im only writing it for you. and. im sorry.xXxXxXx